


Ms Believer

by septiczz



Category: jacksepticeye, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Break Up, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Fun, Funny, Humor, Love, Neighbors, Romance, Sean McLoughlin - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Smut, YouTube, jacksepticeye - Freeform, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/septiczz/pseuds/septiczz
Summary: Callie was a fan of the oh so popular Jacksepticeye from the time he started to first make videos.  She went through the one of the hardest moments in her life with his loud Irish accent keeping her in spirits.  Then she grew out of him and Youtube is a distant memory anyway these days.  Now she’s 35 and met with the surprise of her life.





	1. New Guy

I parked my car in front of the apartment complex door and sat there for a second.  A large box sat in the back and I was not looking forward to moving it on my own.  I could have parked on the side, and gotten it in from the back door, avoiding the steps down to my apartment.  But parking in front means no walking on the wet grass.  Decisions, I swear.  I sighed and got out of my little, used, Honda.  I grabbed the large box holding a computer my step- dad got for me.  I am so glad that I am starting to work out, God damn.  

I made my way, slowly, to the complex door, and it opened for me.  The box was stunting my view a little and I was looking down to make sure I didn’t trip.  But a voice spoke:

“Oh, hey, let me get that for you!” And then the box was being lifted from my hands before I could say no.  Then I could see the stranger with the friendly Irish accent.  He was much taller than my short 5'3 height.  His bright blue eyes were smiling down at me as he took my box and the brown mop of hair on his head was waving in the wind.  He looked handsome in his nice jeans and tight fitting shirt as well.

“So, where’s your apartment?” He broke my trance.  

“Ah, sorry, um, down those stairs, number two.”  He went down the stairs and waited for me to unlock the door.  I opened it for him and pointed him to the living room, by a small television that sat on a desk.  He then stood in the middle of my living room, with his hands on his hips.  

“Well, you have a nice place.” He turned to me.  “I mean, mine looks exactly like it, but yours is missing the boxes and is much more cleaner and organized.”  He chuckled and I smiled.  

“I’m Sean, by the way.  I just moved in a couple days ago.” He put his hand out for me to shake.  

“Callie.” I said.  His hand was strong compared to my stubby fingers, and his swallowed mine in warmth.  “I didn't see a moving truck, did you not have a lot of stuff?"

“Oh, I came straight from Ireland, I sold practically all my stuff or already sent it here."  He explained.  

"Okay, I got you.  What number are you in?"

"I am actually in number two, across the hall from you!" I realized the more he talked and got comfortable, the louder he got and the thicker his accent was.  

"Great, now I get to bother you!" I teased.  I felt comfortable with this guy and talking to him was pretty easy.  

"I'll bother you right back!" His voice was friendly but he had a growl in his throat that made it like a threat.  It made me laugh.  I love this man's accent.  Maybe that's why it's so easy to talk; just so I can keep listening to it.  

"Where in Ireland are you from?" I asked.  

"I lived in Athlone with a few friends and then my girlfriend." Oh so there's a girl.  Which doesn't surprise me, he's very good looking.  "Now I'm in Kansas living by my new friend!" We laughed together.  

"Okay, I have to go to the store.  I'm glad I got the chance to meet you and talk, Callie.  I'll be seeing you around!"  I walked him to my door and he waved as he walked up the stairs.  I smiled back at the sweet Irishman and shook my head as I walked back in.  Don't even start, Callie.

 


	2. Ice Cream

It was around five when Sean had went to the store, so I was more than a little hungry.  I went to my small kitchen and looked in the fridge.  I need to go to the store myself.  I had eggs, but only four left.  Guess that's my dinner.  I scrambled the eggs and cooked them up, checking my phone for anything while I waited.  I thought back on Sean as well.  I mean, how couldn't I?  He's a handsome looking man and I can't deny it.  But I don’t need to have a crush on anyone right now.  I wouldn’t mind having him as a friend, and it’d be nice having a friend in this area so I could see him more.  

But then you’ll develop a little crush on him, Callie.  Nah, that doesn’t happen.  Wasn’t Lucas just a friend?  I love it when my own thoughts can sober me up.  Lucas hasn’t spoken to me since he sent that fateful “I’m breaking up with you” text, a little over a month ago.  And while I have sent him a couple texts telling to man up and talk to my face, and a mutual friend has even told him to stop acting like a child, Lucas still has yet to say anything.  Which is his problem, not mine.  I mean, it’s a little hurtful knowing your ex can simply drop three years of trust and growing together and trying to work through issues.  But I guess only he can suffer from abuse, and it’s totally okay to invalidate your girlfriends abuse, and it’s mighty fine to go to a party after she tells you- for the first time- that she wants to die- which isn’t the first time she’s felt that.

Anyway.  

I had unboxed my computer and hooked it up to the small television on the desk.  I was using it as a normal television and had a laptop, but the laptop was getting old and wasn’t running my games very well, so my step dad went and bought me a computer so I could hook it up.  It was used, but it worked, I had tested it out.  And just when I finished, someone knocked on my door.  

“Oh, hi again.” I smiled at Sean when I opened the door.  I was surprised though to see him so soon.  Literally not even a day later, he stood there, like I should be expecting him.  

“Hey, Callie, are you busy?” I looked back at my computer and back at him.

“Not anymore.” 

“Would you like to go get ice cream?  My treat.”  I put my chin in my hand and pretended to contemplate very hard.  

“It's the middle of October." I gaped.

"And yet it feels like spring." I sighed dramatically.  Damn Kansas weather.  

"As long as it can be Cold Stone.”  I said.

“I don’t know where or what that is, but okay.”  He smiled. "Oh, and sorry to inform you this, but you have to drive."

"That's no problem, you're lucky I like to drive." I told him.  I left my front door open with him standing there while I got my keys and purse.  When I got what I needed, I locked the door and lead him to my silver car.  Sean came to my side and opened my door before I could reach it and smiled proudly.  I thanked him and laughed as he got in the passenger seat.    

“Have you lived in Kansas your whole life?” He started small conversation while I left the parking lot.

“Yeah.” I said.  “I’ve moved a lot, but only in this boring state.” 

“Is it really boring?”   

“Oh no.” I laughed.  “Kansas just gained a reputation for being boring, and I like to say it's boring.  The East side is where it's at.  Unless you find cows and empty pastures fun.”

“You’ll have to show me around some day.”  He glanced over at me and smiled his bright toothy smile.  

“I mean, in all my years of living here, I don’t know much about anything.” It was true.  I saw Kansas as just a home and everything was just there.  It had no backstory or something that may bring in tourists or something.  Just Kansas.

“Well, I’d like to go to the Plaza, I hear there are a lot of shops and it looks amazing in pictures.” 

“Oh God, it’s only fun if you like to drive in the crowd.  I don’t go unless someone else is driving through that shit show.” I groaned.  “But it is a nice place for a girls night out or a date or something, whatever.” He was smiling and nodding along, showing that he was listening to me.  

“Let’s go this weekend.  Have our own girls night out.” I snorted at him.

“I didn’t know you were a girl, Mister Sean.  Or should I say Miss Sean?” I teased.  His laugh was as loud as his voice and it brought a large smile to my own face.  

As we calmed down from laughing, I had found the small ice cream parlor and parked.  He quickly undid his seatbelt and tried to leave his side before I could leave mine, but he fell in the process.  I cracked up, watching him fall to his hands and knees as his leg had gotten stuck in the car.  I got out slower than he tried and kneeled down where he was now sitting, laughing to the point of crying.  

“A-Are you okay?” I stuttered, trying to calm my breathing and laughter.  He nodded and got up, taking deep breathes just like me.  

“That didn’t happen, okay?” He tried to play it cool, even though his knees and hands had been a little scratched from the pavement.  I was giggling, covering my mouth and we walked into Cold Stone together.  The store was cold and smelled like heaven.  The three workers greeted us and Sean looked at the menu.

“What are you going to get?” He asked.

“Chocolate ice cream with chocolate chip cookie dough in a cup.”  The amount of times I have repeated that in my life, it just comes to me easily.  Because it’s the best kind there is.  Sean shook his head at me and kept looking at the menu.

"I think I'm going to just have a chocolate ice cream cone."  He looked down at me with a smile.

"So boring." I teased.  He snorted and stepped up to the counter, ordering both of our ice creams.  We watched them make my ice cream in silence, but it was comfortable. He was standing close enough so I could feel his warmth.  He had put a light jacket over his shirt while I was still in a shirt and jeans.  My arms were gaining goosebumps from the cold breeze that filled the small space so just the bit of warmth I felt from his clothing was nice.  

The employee handed us our ice cream and Sean paid for them.  We walked out and as I was continuing to the car, he stopped on the curb and sat down.  I looked back at him, staring down at him with my hand on the car door handle.  

"I don't want to drop any ice cream in your car."

"It's only a five minute drive." 

"It's nice outside."

"You're in a jacket." 

"Please sit." Sean gave me some puppy eyes that I just couldn't refuse.  I came back and sat down by him.  We ate our ice cream in the comfortable silent, watching the sun set over the town's buildings.     


	3. Forgetful

We had finished our ice creams and went back to the apartment.  It was almost 9, and I had to open up the doggy daycare I work at tomorrow at six.  

"Thank you so much for the ice cream, Sean." We stopped in the middle of the hallway.  "I have work in the morning, so I have to go.  But I'm sure I'll bump into you tomorrow." 

"When do you get off?"

"A little after noon, depending on how many dogs are there and if everyone's in."  

"Well then, how about we get some lunch?"

"How about we get dinner?" I cringed, "I'm going to smell awful and I'd rather not have you or anyone close to me suffer the smell of dog shit." He threw his head back in laughter.

"I'm up to dinner.  You're paying though!" He pointed a long finger at me.  I told him that's fine and we went to our separate apartments.  A nice little dinner with a friend is quite something to look forward to.

~~

I was making my last round in the back to check on the dogs and make sure everyone was doing what needed to be done.  I went to go say a goodbye to one of my favorite dogs, Sam, a sweet old plott hound.  He was sitting in his kennel looking up at me with his big brown eyes and when I opened the door he moved over so I could sit by him.  

I love working with the dogs and seeing them almost every day.  It's so much better than working with people.  The only people I have to see here are co workers.  Though as one of the managers, I have to make sure the customers are happy and get to know them.  But I always try to stick in the back to chill with the animals.  

I kissed Sam on the nose, patted his head and left him.  I went back to the front to clock out and grab my bag.  

"Are you working tomorrow?" Kelsie, a new employee, asked.

"No, I think Melinda is.  Do you need something?" 

"I was just wondering." I nodded and we said our byes and I left.  

It wasn't until I was halfway home that I remembered Sean and our dinner tonight.  I wasn't actually sure if he was being serious or not because all we agreed on was dinner.  Where were we going? What time? Did I have to dress nice?  I could simply ask when I got back to the apartment; it's not like he lives miles away and I don't have his number.  Well, I don't have his number.  But he does live across the hall.  

I got home and went down the steps to my apartment.  As I was unlocking the door I heard a loud Irish "FUCK" and a bang come from behind me.  It was a little muffled from the walls, but it was definitely coming out of Sean's room.  I stared at his door, wondering if I should knock to check on him or not.  The pain in my knees and feet from standing up and walking for so long told me that I needed to get in the shower and sit down for a second though.  I shook my head and headed inside.  

~~

After my shower, I put on sweats and sat down at my desk and turned on my computer.  Time to play games for a bit.  I decided to go to Sean's to figure out what we were going to do around four-thirty, which is still about two hours away.  I've got plenty of time to play Bioshock Infinite.  

The game started up and I continued where I left off; trying to find the stupid Shock Jockey.  I've finished this game about three times now, it's one of my favorites.  But I spread out the times I play, so I always forget what I'm doing or supposed to be doing.  It doesn't help that I play about four other games at the same time on different consoles, so there's a lot of button switching and different stories to keep track of.  

I was mocking Elizabeth's "Booker catch!" when someone knocked on my door.  I paused the game and went to open it.  

"Oh, hi Sean." I smiled up at the Irishman who stood at my door.  He was wearing a long sleeved gray shirt and black jeans.  His brunette hair was swept to the side and he had a bright smile plastered to his bearded face.

"Ready for dinner?  It's five." He told me.  I looked at my phone.  It was actually a bit past five.  I was not paying attention to the clock like I should have.

"Well, let me get some jeans on," I looked down at my ratty sweats.  "You can come in while I change."  I went to my room while he went to the living room.  I dug through my drawers to find some jeans with holes all over the thighs and shins.  This will do.  

"Okay, let's go."

 


	4. Pizza

“So tell me about yourself, Callie.” Sean took a bite of his pizza.  He had looked up places to go and found a pizza place not too far down the road, so we actually just walked.  The place was big, warm, and crowded.  We were given a small booth set for two.  We got a large pizza so we could split his meat covered pizza and my only cheese pizza.   

“Um, I just turned 35, been living on my own for ten years, and I like the color and smell of lavender.”  I have an obsession with lavender.  Don’t get me started on lavender tea.

“Did you go to college?"

“I studied psychology and criminal justice, but I haven’t done anything with it.  I wanted to be a psychologist or work with criminals, but I couldn't find a job in that field."

"Well you have a job now.  What is it?"

"A doggy daycare." I smiled.  "I love it a lot.  Sort of makes me glad I didn't go to a job that involves people."

"Not a people fan?"

"Not really."

"Are you a Sean McLoughlin fan?" My head jerked up.  I recognized that name.  "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just recognized the name." I shook my head.  "I'm being silly, probably some actor or maybe a classmate back in the day had the same name." I laughed it off, but he got a look in his blue eyes.  I thought he looked worried for a second.  "And to answer your question, yes.  I am a Sean fan." 

"That's good because I'm a fan of you too." He was back to normal, happy little leprechaun.  

"What even brought you to Kansas?  Out of all the states, you chose Kansas." I said, putting my elbows up on the table and holding my head in my hands.  

"Well, it's very different." He started.  "I needed a change from Ireland and I have a lot of friends in America.  But they're spread out everywhere, so I thought 'hey, why not in the middle?'" 

"I'm glad you chose Kansas." I told him.  

"Why's that?"

"Cause I finally have a friend." I pretended to cry.  He laughed and reached over to grab my hand.

"You'll always be my friend!" We smiled softly at each other.  Then I remembered.  Girlfriend.  

"You have a girlfriend right?  Is she still in Ireland?" I pulled my hand away from him.

"Ah, yeah." He glanced down at his pizza before taking a large bite.  He seemed sketchy about the subject.  Maybe they got into a fight about something.  I smiled, letting him know it's okay and looked around the restaurant.  

My eyes flickered from table to table, checking everything out when they landed on a blonde man and woman, holding hands from across the table.  My heart and stomach jumped to my throat and I had to bolt out of the booth without saying a word to Sean.  I ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before puking my guts out.  I had recognized them; Lucas and Maggie- a girl he was always telling me about when we were together.  He had worried about her a lot.  I didn't like her because she gave me a weird feeling and Lucas talked about her a bit too much.  But I couldn't decide who Lucas got to hang out with for him, so I had sucked it up and dealt with it.  

It's been a month, he can date whoever he wants.  You're a grown woman, grow a pair and go back out there to Sean.  I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and gargled some tap water.  When I walked back out, the rest of the pizza had been boxed up and Sean was taking his card back from the waitress.

"I was supposed to pay." I said.

"I guessed you were throwing up and would want to get out of here as soon as possible." He looked very concerned.  "Is everything okay?"

"Yup, guess the pizza didn't agree with me." I rubbed my stomach, which was still hurting a bit.  Sean didn't look convinced but he didn't say anything else.  He got up and took our pizza box.  He lead the way out and we had to walk by Lucas and Maggie.  I tensed up and walked closer to Sean, so close that I was stepping on his heels.  He almost tripped but didn't say anything until we got outside.

"Are you sure you're okay?  Can you walk home?"  He grabbed my shoulder with his free hand.  "You're shaking."  I suddenly felt like crying.  A bubble had formed in my throat so all I could do was nod at him and hope he couldn't see the tears form in my green eyes.  He frowned but let go of me.  

We walked back to our apartment complex in silence.  I kept my head down and watched the few tears I couldn't hold back hit my glasses.  I felt embarrassed that I reacted like that in front of Sean and upset to see Lucas with another woman.  It was like I was a teenager again.  I was being absolutely stupid.  

As we walked, our arms would lump together.  The heat that came off of him made me feel a bit better.  It also helped that he wasn't prying or being mean.  It made me feel good, but also made me want to cry more.  I shook hard, trying to hold the sob back and I felt him look down at me, but he didn't say anything.  

We were closing in on the apartments and I started thinking about hugging him.  Because that's what I need and I haven't hugged anyone in a while.  I was needing to just feel anyone's arms around me, and I was desperate enough that I'd go to a complete stranger for that.  But Sean's here and I'm sure he wouldn't mind a hug from the girl he met yesterday.

"Are you sure everything is alright?  If it isn't I don't mind sticking around." He put down the pizza, grabbed my shoulders and bent down so his blue eyes could gaze into my green eyes.  Now is as good as time as any.  I had to get on my toes so my chin could rest on his shoulder and my arms linked together around his skinny torso.  He didn't hesitate to hug me back; his own muscular arms wrapping around my head and holding me close to him.  He smelled of Old Spice and pizza.  A nice little combination.  His clothes were slightly chilled from the night air.  While it was still hot in fucking October, the nights were colder.  

I was comfortable and didn't want to move.  But I knew I was going to overstay my welcome in his arms if I didn't move away.  Or I was going to start crying.  Whichever came first.  I moved away and smiled up at him.  

"Thank you.  I have to go now." I pointed at my door.  "Thank you for dinner.  I'll make it up to you." 

"Thank you for joining me, Callie." He had a half smile and patted my head like I was a puppy.  "Get some rest."        


	5. Always Friends

I was sort of glad I didn't have work today.  I was going to miss the dogs, but I wanted a little break.  I had a hair appointment today as well.  I wanted to change my blonde hair into a different color since it's been a while and my roots are looking awful.  My natural hair color is blonde, but I dyed it red a while back and then went back to the blonde so I didn't look natural anymore.  

I was going to do a silver-blue, because I saw it online and wanted to be cool too.  I walked into the salon and saw my stylist, Becca.  She was a tattooed sweetheart, a little older than me.  She always invited me out to parties at her house, which was nice, though I didn't go to all of them because I'm too awkward.  Sometimes I only showed up so I could pet her cat or play with her kid.  

"So, we're doing the silver and blue?" She brushed my hair back as I took my glasses off and nodded.  I love getting my hair brushed out by others and having it played with; it is one of the most relaxing things ever.  I don't care who's doing it, I just want it done.  

"What's been going on in the world of Callie?" Becca's asked.  

"Nothing really.  I have a new neighbor in the apartment across from me."  I smiled, thinking of the Irishman.  "He's from Ireland."

"Oh really now?" Becca grinned.  "Is he cute?"

"Well yeah, and the accent helps that." I laughed.  "But he's got a girlfriend."

"Is she living with him?"

"No, she's in Ireland."    

"Does he talk about her alot?"

"Eh, not really."  Becca made a noise behind me.  I knew she was thinking about it: It's not going to work between the two.  "I think they're just going through a rough patch or something.  He's far away from her now.  I'd be a little upset too."  

"How old is he?"

"I haven't actually asked, but I take it my age or close." He did look past his twenties but no older than 36.  "He's very loud when he talks.  Like, quiet at first, but then super loud by the end of the conversation."  

"I hear the Irish are very loud." 

"Where did you hear that?"

"Pft, I don't know." She giggled.  I snorted at her and relaxed in the black seat while she covered my head in the colors.  

~~

I jogged down the steps to get inside when Sean's door opened behind me.  I turned to see him staring at me.

"I didn't know that was you from behind for a second." His eyes were on my hair.  I chuckled and ran a hand through it.

"Yeah, I needed a change."

"Well, I love it!"  He came over to touch the blue ends.  "I used to have green hair, years ago.  I kind of want to color it again." He tugged on my hair lightly before letting go.  

"You should color it again." I told him.

"I might.  I'm going to the store again, I might get some color."  

"Why are you going to the store again?"

"I want to get a pumpkin to carve."  That reminded me that Halloween is only a few days away.  

"Ah, shit, can I come?  I'd like to get a pumpkin too."  

"Of course!  Then you can come to my place and we can carve them together." He linked his arm around mine and dragged me out.  

~~

Sean was talking loudly while we were at the store and having a good time looking at the differences between the things he had back in Ireland and the things in America.  I had a fun time watching him and answering questions.  He decided to go ahead and color his hair green like he had long ago.  

"Did you choose green because you're Irish?"

"Well," Sean smiled, looking down at the box of dye, "a friend dyed his pink years ago for a charity and I told him I'd do green.  It stuck for quite some time."  

"That's adorable."  Sean looked like it was a really nice memory and it was cute.  

"Okay, pumpkins."  He was back to jumping around.  I followed him, trying to keep up with his long legged pace when I heard my name being called out.

"Callie!"  I spun and Sean stopped to look with me.  I'm going to throw up again.  But there's no way I'm going to leave Sean with Lucas.  He was running up to us with a wide grin.  

"Hey Callie, how are you?"  He was coming in for a hug, but I stepped back.  When I stepped back, Sean stepped forward, but not in front; just so he was standing beside me and we were touching.  

"I'm good, and y-you?" My voice had shook and I stuttered.  Beautiful.  Take a breath and lift your chin, Callie.  

"I am fantastic.  Who's this?" Lucas was being overly nice, and I knew he was hiding his bitterness.  He was always extra fake when he was bitter about something.  

"This is Sean, my new friend." I pointed to the him. "Sean, this is Lucas."

"Her boyfriend."

"Ex." I almost growled the words at him.  I didn't know why he didn't simply say it himself.

"Oh that's right!" Lucas facepalmed. "You just sort of stopped talking to me and almost dropped off the face of the earth!"  I wanted to take Sean's box of hair dye and throw it at Lucas.  He spun the story to make himself the victim.  And he spun it real hard, because he did that to me, not the other way around.  Which then made me think he purposefully didn't say ex, so I had to say it and he could play victim.

"Be careful Sean, she likes to use people and then drop them when she's done."  Lucas had a glint in his eye.  He was angry when he had no reason to be.  I was shaking from anger.  Screw the whole "keep your chin up!" bullshit.  I want to hide away before I snap Lucas' neck.  

"I'm sure I'll be fine." Sean's lips were tight and he put an arm around my shoulder. "Come on Callie, I have to get my stuff and hurry home."  He turned me around, walked forward and whispered, "Don't look back."

Sean kept his arm around me even as we picked out our pumpkins in silence.  It was nice having him close and much more comforting than I'd have thought.  Well, his hug last night was nice, so of course this is going to be fine as well.  I paid for our pumpkins and his hair dye and he still hadn't let go.  I had grabbed a glance at a different lane and saw Lucas staring us down.  Sean noticed it too and his fingers dug into my shoulder.  We left and then he let go of me.    

"So, are we going to talk about him?" Sean asked.  

"If you want to."

"It's more of if you want to."

"He's an ex."

"You left him?"

"No he left me.  That story he told is the opposite."  I shook my head.  "You can go ahead and believe him, I don't care."

"I've only known you for a couple days, but I would believe you over him in a heartbeat." He had stopped me and looked down at me.  "I'm your friend, Callie, I always will be."  I smiled and started walking back home.  

"Come on then, friend."

 


	6. Pumpkin Guts

Sean's apartment was styled just like mine, but his was a bit messier than mine.  He had a lot of games spread out everywhere and just about every console.  I was jealous, but I'm sure the cords were atrocious to deal with.  I was standing in the kitchen eating a popsicle he gave me to “handle the pain of seeing Lucas” while he was putting large trash bags down on his porch.  He came back in and grabbed our pumpkins and I follow him out.  

“So, do you know what you’re going to make?” I asked, taking the popsicle out of my mouth with a loud pop.  

“Hm, maybe a wide eyed bastard.” He giggled.  His giggle made me smile; it was high pitched and absolutely adorable.  “What about you?” 

“Just a normal one.”

“So triangles for you and circles for me.” He smiled.  He sat down with his pumpkin on the cold ground across from me and grabbed one of the large knives.  He started to cut out the top, while I was cutting the bottom part.  When he noticed my pumpkin was upside down, he gave me a strange look.  

“What?” I asked.

“What’re you doin’ with your pumpkin?”

“I’m cutting it from the bottom so it’s easier to put the candle in and light it.”  I explained.  He looked at his own  topless pumpkin back to me.

“Damn it, why didn’t you tell me earlier!” He laughed.  I shrugged.

“I wanted you to suffer.”

“Ya bitch.” He muttered and went to gutting his pumpkin.  

“You’re the bitch!” I laughed loudly. “And watch it, I have a knife!”

“Well so do I!” We pointed our very sharp knives at each other for a second before putting them down and giggling.  Sean was pretending to throw up as he threw the guts onto the ground, trying to make me smile.  I had to take the seeds out with one hand and hold the pumpkin between my legs since I was still eating my popsicle.  

“God, this smells so gross.”  Sean complained.

“It does not!” I gaped at him.  I love the smell of pumpkins, he’s just crazy.

“It does too!” 

“Does not!”

“Does too!” He tossed some of the cold, wet guts at me.  It landed on my bare leg- since I’m in basketball shorts.  I gasped and stared at him.  He had a shocked and scared look on his face.  

“I am sorry, it just happened!” He apologized.  I didn’t listen; I grabbed a large handful of guts and threw it at him.  It landed on his lap with a smack and he tried jumping away.  

“This means war, Sean.” I said with a large smile.  He laughed and threw more guts at me.  I stood up so I could dodge the orange sludge and he followed suit.  We were covering each other in the mess, but it was fun.  I haven’t had this much fun in a while.  And I needed it since the whole Lucas thing.  Sean flung some at my face and my glasses got splattered.  I screamed and threw some back at his face.  

“Hey, fuck off!” He yelled happily.  I stopped, because when he said “fuck” it sounded more like “fook”.  The Irish accent is going to entertain me more than this.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I put a hand to my ear, as if I couldn’t hear him.  “This is America, we don’t speak that weird accent of yours.” He rolled his eyes and was suddenly moving toward me.  He was too fast for me to react and I was being thrown over his shoulder.  He had an arm wrapped around the back of my thighs to keep me balanced on his shoulder and he used the other to open the porch door.  

“Sean!  Put me down!” I yelled at him.  “You’re going to get pumpkin all over your house!  Sean McLoughlin!” 

“No complaining, you’re grounded now.” I smacked his back repeatedly.

“Why am I grounded?  You started this!” A loud crack from my hand on his back filled the kitchen air.  

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sean!” 

“Are you ticklish on your thighs?” I felt his grip get a bit tighter on my legs and I thrashed against him.

“NO!”    

“I think you are.” He was much stronger than me and his hand was rubbing my thighs, looking for my ticklish spot while I kicked as hard as I could.  The whole back of my thigh tickled, honestly, but when he had found a spot that was more ticklish than the rest, I screamed as loud as possible and flailed until he put me down.  I collapsed on the floor, looking up at him with a glare and breathing heavily.

“I fucking hate you.” 

“I love you too.”


	7. Halloween Party

It was Halloween and I haven’t seen Sean since we carved our pumpkins.  I heard him shout a few curse words a couple times while leaving or coming home.  I was a little sad that  I haven’t caught him leaving or coming home, but I haven’t even heard the door open and close.  Not like I was listening; the walls are thin.  I was invited out to the bar with a couple friends to celebrate.  I had agreed even though it’s now an hour before I have to leave and I do not want to go.  

I was standing in the kitchen, sipping on some water, when there was a knock on my door.  I took my time getting to the door and opening it, but when I opened it and saw the loud Irishman standing there I sort of wish I had been quicker.  He looked off.  And it wasn’t the new green patch of hair on his head that made him seem different.  His skin looked more pale and there were light circles under his eyes.  

“Hi Callie.” He wore a smile to greet me and gave me a quick hug. 

“Sean you colored it!” I got on my toes so I could feel his hair.  It was soft, like how I imagine a cloud would feel.  

“I did, thank’s for the inspiration.” He chuckled.  “I came over to see what you were up to tonight.” 

“I’m going out with some friends to drink.” I shrugged.  “Not really looking forward to it anymore.”  

“Oh, okay, well I think you should still go out.”  

“Wait, why don’t you go with me?” I was now wanting to go if he’d go.

“I don’t want to intrude.” 

“You won’t be!  I’m sure Madison will bring her husband without warning.”  I waved a hand.  “I’d like it if you went.” 

“Really, you would?” He sort of smirked and a little blush graced his cheeks.  I realized how flirty it sounded, but hey, why not just flirt a little?  

“Of course, you’re my friend.”

“Let me change and then we can head out.”

~~

I hated driving downtown.  I hated driving downtown with a guest in my car.  I felt as if I can’t shout at the cars with Sean in my car.  I didn’t want to scare him.  But he would shout at some cars that would cut us off and it made it easier for me to relax.  I growled at one car was was cursing under my breath when Sean reached over and started rubbing the back of my neck.  It took me by surprise and I almost snapped at him just out of habit from snapping at other people who touch me, but it calmed me down.  

“Sorry, it always calmed me down when my girlfriend would do this for me.” He told me.  

“I-it’s fine.” I said softly.  I actually would do the same with Lucas, just because I could.  I never had it done to me, but I quite like Sean’s large hand gently rubbing up and down or his fingers were making soft circular motions.  

I finally found a parking spot and we got out together.  He was taking in the lights and sounds of the town.  It’s nothing too big like New York, but I have to admit Kansas has a pretty nice looking nightlife.  I lead him down the street to the restaurant my friends were at.  It was a large place and every time I was in, it was overly crowded.

“Oh, Callie,” Sean poked my side while I was looking around the room for my friends, “who’s going to be the designated driver.”

“I can be, I don’t like drinking that much.”  I said. “You can get as drunk as you want, I’ll take care of you.”

“I don’t think I’ll drink that much.” He laughed.

“I’m sure my friends will get you to drink.” I snorted.  I finally spotted the group; and no surprise, Madison brought Troy, her husband.  I took Sean by the arm and we sat down in the booth.

“Callie, who’s this?” Tara asked.  She was eyeing him up and I thought it was cute.

“This is Sean, he’s Irish, and yes, Tara, he has a girlfriend.” I introduced him.  Madison and Troy laughed and I noticed a shadow pass over Sean’s face but it was quickly recovered.  

“Top of the mornin’ to ya!” He shouted and laughed.  It sparked something in my memory again and I wish I could place my finger on it.  First his full name and now that little phrase.  Well, isn’t it was everyone says to sort of poke fun at the Irish?  That’s it.  

“Is his girlfriend you?” Troy asked me.

“Ha, no way.” I shook my head out and laughed sharply.

“You don’t have to be mean about it.” Sean looked like a kicked puppy but then laughed as well.  

“I’m sure he will be by the end of the night.” Madison sipped her drink casually, acting like she didn’t say it.  I glared at her and flipped her off when the waiter came to get me and Sean our drink order.  He ordered a beer and I ordered a soda.  We all talked and Sean got along great with them.  He talked about Athlone, his friends, what he’s going to do in Kansas.                

Sean was going through his beers pretty quickly and the slur in his voice was becoming more apparent.  He was talking louder and laughing at almost every little thing.  He was a cute, happy drunk.  Though with the slur and his accent getting thicker, it was a bit difficult to understand him.  

“Callie, I’mreadytogohome.” He spoke quickly and put his head on my shoulder.  I looked at my phone and saw it was midnight.  My friends would want to start bar hopping and I really don’t think Sean could handle that, even with those Irish roots of his.  And I don’t want to stay out any longer either.  

“Okay guys, I think it’s time to put Sean to bed.” I told my friends while pushing Sean out of the booth.  

“Come on Callie, if you two are going back to fuck, just tell us.” Tara teased.  I was going to chew her head off for that statement, but the very drunk Sean pointed a finger at her.

“Hey, she not whore, she too nice.” I covered my mouth and shook my head at his attempt to stand up for me and told them goodbye.  I had to hold Sean up by myself all the way to my car.  He tried helping but with his stumbling feet, it made life just a bit harder.  I managed to sit him down into the car without hitting his head and buckled him up. 

“Callie, smell good.” He grabbed some of my hair while I reached over him with the seatbelt without my knowledge until I pulled back and was suddenly in Sean’s face.  

“I showered Sean, that’s why.”  I gently pried my hair out of his grasp and shut his door.  I got into the driver’s side and started to leave the city.  Sean was mumbling about and I wasn’t paying much attention to him.  

“I used to be famous.” He said pretty clearly.  “Did you know that?”  I glanced at him with an eyebrow raised.  He was leaning his head against the window with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open.  

“No, I didn’t.”

“I was a Youtube star.”  I nodded my head.  I remember Youtube; well, of course I do, I was in love with the damn site and the damn people.  But it’s been gone since I turned thirty, so no more of those stupid vine compilations.  

“Were you?”

“Jacksepticeye.” I almost slammed on my breaks.  Sean McLoughlin.  Green hair.  Loud Irish accent.  He fit the character.  His friends were in America.  I wish I knew their names; they’re on the tip of my tongue.  One had an -er in his user name.  The fans used to ship them.  I used to think they were cute and funny together.  

How could I have not recognized him?  Well, I did when he said his full name, I just didn’t exactly have it.  I used to be in love with the guy.  I was going to marry him and everything.  Except he had- or has- Signe and I respect that.  Oh Jesus, that’s the girlfriend he’s talked about.  And they might be fighting?  Oh shit.  

I drove faster so I could get us home.  I was shaking and didn’t want Sean to see it.  I am sort of fangirling right now and even though he’s probably too drunk to care, I am a little embarrassed.  I wish Youtube was still a thing so I could look back on all of his old videos.  God, he made me laugh so much.  And now he’s been hanging out with me, making me laugh in person.  I am probably one of the luckiest people in the world right now.  

I got us home quickly and safely.  When I reached Sean’s door, I realized that I didn’t have his key and didn’t want to go digging around in his very tight jeans pockets.  I sighed heavily and turned us to my door.  I got him inside and leaned him against the wall so I could close and lock my door.  Just as I was turning around, Sean put his hands on either side of my head so I was stuck, looking up at the towering drunk.  

“Se-” His lips crashed onto mine.  He pressed his lips against mine as hard as he could and it wasn’t really a kiss, more of just smashing together.  My head was already resting on the door, so I couldn’t move back and he was too close for me to move to the side.  But he pulled away and looked at me with squinted eyes.

“I’m going to throw up.”  And that’s exactly what he did.


	8. Breakfast

I had to take off Sean’s clothes and put my sweats and an old T-shirt of mine on him.  He had followed me to the bathroom obediently and threw up a few more times while I was undressing him.  At least this time he had made it to the toilet and not all over us and my floor.  I had to ignore his chiseled torso and the slight bulge in his boxers, but I made it through.  I gave him some water and put him in my bed with a wet cloth over his eyes.  

 

I leaned on my door once I shut it and took a deep breath.  Sean gave me a very drunk kiss.  If you could count it as a kiss.  He tasted like beer of course, and it just really was not what I wanted.  I would have loved to kiss Sean under different circumstances.  I have to pray to whoever that he doesn’t remember.  Maybe I should take a couple shots of vodka I have to forget it.  

 

I feel guilty because he has a girlfriend, but it’s not like I kissed back.  But I could have done more to make him stop.  It’s not like my hands were busy, I could have pushed him away.  But I didn’t.  

 

The smell of vomit reminded me that I need to change and wash my floor.  I went to my laundry room and grabbed a clean tank top and sweats.  Then to the kitchen to grab a wet cloth and cleaned the mess at the front door.  I got the mess cleaned and pulled some blankets out of the hallway closet for myself.  Then I curled up on my couch and fell asleep.

 

~~

 

I was woken up by the smell of sausage and eggs.  The sausage was sizzling loudly and the oven fan was going.  I rubbed my green eyes and stretched then went to check it out.  Sean was standing at the stove, still wearing my clothes, and putting scrambled eggs on a plate.  He was humming a little tune as well.  I stood at the doorway, waiting for him to notice me.  I wasn’t expecting him to be awake or moving, even though it’s almost eleven.  I was supposed to be the one treating him to some soup.  

 

“Oh, Callie, you’re awake.” He grinned at me.  Did he remember last night?

 

“You’re awake as well.” I stepped in closer. “I was expecting you to still be throwing up.”

 

“I forgot that I threw up.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I remembered once I realized I wasn’t in my own clothes.”

 

“Yeah, I couldn’t keep you in your messy clothes.  I promise I didn’t see anything I wasn’t supposed to.” 

 

“I’m sorry I got so drunk.  I usually don’t get that way.  It’s just been a little rough to be honest.”  He handed me a plate of eggs and sausage.  

 

“Well, come sit down, talk to me about it.” We sat at my small dining table started to eat.  

 

“It’s about my girlfriend.” Sean started.  “We were having issues before I even left home, and she left one night without a word and didn’t return for a week.  I thought it was over and I didn’t want to be in a place with so many memories.  So I came here.  Then a couple days ago she messaged me and she yelled at me for leaving.”  Sean put his head in his hands.  “That’s all she’d been doing lately.  I was being yelled at for every little thing.  I thought she was done with me and she called me saying I was a terrible boyfriend for just leaving her.” 

 

“But she just up and left you first.” I couldn’t help myself with the interruption.

 

“I know!  I officially broke up with her.  I needed those drinks last night.”  Sean looked at me with some tears on his eyes.  “Did I do or say anything stupid?”  Do I tell him about the awful kiss last night?  I don’t think he needs to worry about that right now.  Maybe just the Youtube thing.

 

“You told me you used to be famous.” I took a large bite of my eggs and watched his face go from confused to amused.

 

“My secret’s out.” He clapped his hands.  “I don’t share it out to the world that I used to be a famous Youtuber.  I feel like a dick.”

 

“Nah, it’s fine.”  I shook my head.  “I never thought that I’d be sitting down sharing breakfast with my hero.”  

 

“You used to watch my channel?”

 

“I was in love with you.” I rolled my eyes.  “It was a little crush.  I shipped you and your friend though.  What was his name?”

 

“Mark!” He laughed loudly.  “We still talk almost every day or we play videogames together.”

 

“Markiplier was his channel name.” I chuckled.  “Ya’ll were great.  Helped me through a lot of shit as well.”   

 

“I’m really glad I could help you.” Sean reached over and squeezed my arm.  I almost flinched.  He just went through a breakup and sort of kissed me last night.  I don’t want him to move on fast.

 

“Yeah, thanks.  I am very sorry that you had to break up with your girlfriend over phone, from such a distance.” I looked deeply into his blue eyes.  As much as I didn’t want to admit it, but that crush was quickly coming back.  And I wanted to kiss him right now.  

 

“It’s okay, but I just want to forget it right now.  I need to move on.”  Sean stood up and put his plate away.  “Do you want to come over and play a game?”

  
  



	9. Jumpy

“Aren’t a fan of jump scares, huh?” Sean’s tone was not making me happy.  I saw Until Dawn and wanted to play it, even after I was warned about the jump scares.  Sean was sitting next to me, laughing every time I jumped or whimpered at the stupid scares.  I jumped at a stupid deer running out of the woods and almost landed in Sean’s lap.  But he wasn’t moving away.  Our legs were touching, and his warmth was sending sparks through my whole body.  

 

“I am an adult, nothing scares me.” I was determined to get through this game.  

 

“Yeah, okay, jumpy.” Sean put his arm over me, but he was resting it on the back of the couch.  Since we were so close, my shoulder was now resting under his armpit though.  I tried concentrating on the game, but more of my focus was on Sean and how I could smell him.  Like freshness.  And of course, I’m not paying attention to the music getting louder and creepier until it’s too late.  

 

“AH FUCKING DICK HOLES, DAMN IT!” I screamed, putting the controller in my lap and hiding my face in my hands.  Sean laughed loudly and wrapped his arm around me, rubbing my arm gently.  

 

“Fucking dick holes.” He repeated my curses and giggled.  “You’ll be okay.”  He pulled my head to his chest and played with my hair.  It was very relaxing and made me feel better.  Now I don’t want to play the game and just want to stay like this.

 

“How about I play and you watch?” Sean asked, slowly taking the controller out of my lap.  His fingers were creeping along my leg before he took it, sending the tingles down my spine.  He took the controller and started the game back up, meaning he let go of me.  I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, watching him look around the path and make some choices.  I have watched him play so many games on Youtube, it’s surreal watching him play as he sits beside me.  I can feel his small twitches, felt his leg bounce, I could hear his breathing and it was a dream come true.

 

~~

 

Sean made dinner for us after we played games.  He just made some Mac and Cheese, which is fine, I love it.  We were pretty quiet while eating, and he was checking his phone, texting people.  I pulled mine out as well.  I don’t text a lot of people, just because my friends and I have our own lives and we just meet up every once in awhile, like on Halloween.  But I guess I should talk to Madison, make sure she’s doing okay.

 

_ Me: Whatcha doin _

 

_ Madison: Hanging out with Troy, you? _

 

_ Me: With Sean, how are ya’ll feeling after drinking _

 

_ Madison: We’re fine.  How’s Sean, he was wasted _

 

_ Me: He threw up on me last night and kissed me, but he is doing fine now _

 

_ Madison: Wait, he kissed you?  _

 

_ Me: Well, if you can call it that.  More like smashing his face on mine.  He doesn’t remember it though.  And he went through a recent break up, so  _

 

_ Madison: Now he’s available for you _

 

_ Me: As much as I’d love that, he probably needs time _

 

_ Madison: Shut up and tap that, you deserve it.  Especially after Lucas.  That reminds me, Troy talked to Lucas.  He says Lucas claimed your new “boy toy” is controlling you and keeping you from doing normal things.  Is there another man besides Sean? _

 

_ Me: Oh no, that was Sean.  We ran into him together at the store.  Sean was keeping me safe, not controlling me. _

 

_ Madison: What are normal things?  I guess you never actually leave your house, so is Sean making you go out more haha _

 

_ Me:  Hardy har har _

 

“What’re you laughing at?” Sean asked.  I didn’t realize I actually chuckled out loud.  

 

“Oh, Madison’s texting me.”

 

“Why don’t you text me?”

 

“We’re in the same room?” Sean stood up and went to the living room.

 

“Now we aren’t!” 

 

“Shut the fuck up.”


	10. An Actual Kiss

Work was slow.  I washed the five dogs I needed to bathe before daycare started and no one was coming i to drop off or pick up yet.  I was filing papers when someone finally came in.  I looked up to see a blonde woman.  The woman from the pizzeria with Lucas; Maggie.  She was carrying her dog, a little dachshund, up to the table.

 

“Hi, how may I help you?” I greeted, pretending not to recognize her.  

 

“I need to drop off my dog, Missy.”  She put the dog down, letting it run around the store front.  

 

“Okay, can you fill this out?”  I handed her a piece of paper for her contact information and some things about her dog.  The little pup came up to me while Maggie filled out the paperwork.  Missy looked up at me and jumped up on my lap.  She was a small dapple gray color.  She looked a lot like my childhood dog, Sweetie Pie.  I was petting Missy while Maggie finished up.  

 

“Oh God, I’m sorry.” Maggie apologized.  “She’s very friendly around people.”

 

“Well I’m not complaining, I like her.”  

 

“She isn’t so nice with other dogs though.”

 

“That’s fine, she can go out separately and spend one on one time with someone.”

 

“Okay, good.  I’ll pick her up next week.  I’m going on a cruise with my boyfriend.”  I almost raised an eyebrow wondering how Lucas got that money.  

 

“I’m jealous.” I laughed politely.  

 

“Yeah, you should be.” Maggie’s tone changed.  “Don’t ever flirt with Lucas again, you slut.  And I don’t want you near my dog while she’s here.”  I widened my eyes at her and was going to ask what she meant when Kelsie stepped in from the back.

 

“Ah, Kelsie, can you please take Missy to the back and set her up?” I handed Missy to Kelsie, turned back to Maggie, and plastered on my customer service smile.

 

“Thank you for stopping by, we’ll make sure she’s comfortable.  Have fun on your trip!” Maggie knocked on the top of the counter that separated us, glared at me, and walked out. 

 

“I don’t like her.” Kelsie said.  “Gave me a bad feeling.”

 

“She’s fucking crazy.” I muttered, thinking of the stories Lucas used to tell me about her.  Kelsie snorted and took Missy to the back.  My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I took it out.  It was a text from Sean.  I forgot that I gave him my number last night.

 

_ Sean: I hope works going okay.  I heard knocking on your door earlier.  I don’t know who it was.  Sorry for being a creep. _

 

_ Me: Thanks for being a creep, you creep _

 

_ Sean: Says the girl who probably knew every detail about me back in the day _

 

_ Me: I think you subject yourself to that when you become a famous Youtuber.  That’s your fault not mine _

 

_ Sean: It’s my good looks _

 

_ Me: Well yeah, why else would I have a MASSIVE crush on you? _

 

_ Sean: Glad I’m not the only one _

 

_ Me: You have a crush on yourself? _

 

_ Sean: I meant having a crush on you _

 

I put my phone down for a second.  I was teasing in that text.  Flirting, yes, but also teasing.  Did he know that I was kidding?  Is he joking around as well?  Ah fucking hell.

 

_ Me: We are adults, we do not have “crushes”  _

 

_ Sean: Okay, so I have a MASSIVE like on you _

 

_ Me: What the fuck, shut up _

 

_ Sean: Like a boss _

 

_ Me: thanks for bringing me back to 2009 _

 

_ Sean: Anything for you bb _

~~

Once I got home, I took a shower and started to sort of regret not telling Sean that he kissed me.  I wanted to be honest and I’m sure he’d make some sort of joke or apologize.  But there’s also a chance he’d be embarrassed and not want to talk to me again.  Should I text him about it?  I should tell him to his face.  

 

Not thinking straight, really just wanting to get this off my mind, I got out of the shower, wrapped my hair in a towel and a towel around my body and ran to Sean’s door.  He opened up quickly and his blue eyes widened.  

 

“Callie, come in!” He pulled me in and shut the door.  

 

“Seanyoukissedmebutitwasn’treallyakissandyouweredrunkandI’msorryIdidn’ttellyousooner.” I said really fast.  We stood in the small hallway and he was very confused by the look on his face.  

 

“What happened?”  I also realized he was slightly blushing.  Which reminded me I am dripping wet and in a towel that went to my mid thigh.  

 

“I, um, sorry.” I shook my head, feeling the towel around my hair heavy and almost fall over.  “That night you threw up, you kissed me right before.”  His mouth was still slightly open as he was processing what I said.  

 

“Was it like this?” He grabbed my face before I could react and kissed me.  An actual kiss this time.  He was gentle and soft, just lightly sucking on my bottom lip.  And it was over before I could kiss him back.

 

“I think this time was better.”  


	11. Dating

He kissed me over and over again.  He would stop and look at me, we’d giggle, and then we’d go back to kissing.  I don’t care that I was only wearing my towels and we were standing in his romantic hallway.  His large hands were cupped around my cheeks and my hands were at the nape of his neck.  I was rubbing the line of his hair when I heard him moan.  It was gentle but it sent such a strong sensation through my body, I gasped and broke away from him.  I looked up at him, taking in fresh air.  He was grinning and let out huffs, holding back the strong laughter.  

 

“I’m sorry.” He said.  “Though honestly, I’m really glad I got to do that.”

 

“I just kissed my old Youtube crush.” I said softly.  Then I started smiling widely and laughed.  “Damn, my old internet friends would be highly jealous.” 

 

“I’m so glad you thought about that after I kissed you.” He teased.  

 

“I mean, I was thinking about being in a towel.” I looked down at myself.  

 

“Oh, Christ.”  Sean looked away, slightly blushing, as if he just realized I was in a towel.  “I don’t want you walking back in a towel, just come here.”  He walked me to his bedroom and dug around in his drawers and closet for clothes.  He grabbed a shirt and spun around to kiss me again.

 

“I’m not going to be able to get enough of that.” He giggled.  

 

“So, we’re now together?” 

 

“Yes we are, if that’s okay with you.” He pulled my body in with his hands on my hips.  

 

“I’m okay with it.” 

 

“So I have your blessing to kiss you whenever I want.” 

 

“Yes.” He bent down to kiss me quickly before leaving so I could change.  I put on his sweats and shirt, even though I’m not wearing a bra and underwear.  Oh well.  I left his room and went to the kitchen where Sean was chilling.  He smiled at me and pulled out his phone to text someone.  

 

“I’m telling all my friends all the dirty details.”

 

“The dirty details to kissing me in your hallway?”

 

“Yes.” He stuck his tongue out at me.  I smiled and stood beside him with my head on his shoulder.  It was nice.  I wasn’t out of a relationship for long, but having this warmth and feelings were just so nice.  I think the warmth that I used to have with Lucas went away long before it was over.  As much as I didn’t want to admit that.  It’s nice to let it go.  Now I’m with Sean.  And I’m happy.  

 

“Do you want to go out tomorrow?” He asked.  

 

“Yeah, I have work, but I get off at six.”  

 

“That’s fine, we can go out for dinner after you shower.”  He stood in front of me and put his hands back on my waist.  He was rubbing gently with his thumbs and then rubbed his hands up and down my sides.  It felt nice and I was quickly warming up.  His blue eyes had a slight glaze as he looked down at me.

 

“What is it?” I asked.

 

“You’re cute in my clothes.” He laughed.  I snorted and looked down, but he put a finger under it so I had to look up.  

 

“I’m so glad I helped you with that box.” He told me.

 

“I’m glad too.  It was fucking heavy.” I giggled.  He rolled his eyes and kissed my nose.  

 

“You’re a fucking dork.”  


	12. The End

3 years later

Never in a million years did I think that I’d be dating a Youtuber.  I never thought I’d be  _ marrying  _ a Youtuber.  Then man I used to look up to is standing on the other side of these doors, down the aisle.  My step-dad was at my side, giving me a pep talk that I wasn’t paying any attention to.  I faced forward, clutching the flowers in my hand.  I had joked with my friends that maybe my anxiety would spike so hard I’d run.  Running seems like an option right now.  

 

The doors opened and I took in a large gulp of air, then held it.  I was trying not to scream or cry.  It’s not that I didn’t want this.  I just seriously never thought it’d happen.  And seeing Sean down there in his tuxedo is making my heart melt.  I always envisioned my wedding, but I always saw an American man at the end; not some Irish bloke.  

 

Everyone was standing, looking at me.  Some were wiping their eyes and rubbing their noses, trying to hold back the tears as well.  I saw my mom and waved a bit, feeling a little warmth when she gave me the most encouraging smile she could through the tears.  It made me release the air I forgot I was holding.  I let go and suddenly I was in front of Sean, with his hands around mine.  He was looking down at me with a proud smile and small tears formed in the corners of his eyes.  He was so cute and the light surrounding him made him look like some angelic being.  I was in love.  

 

The years leading up to this moment were some of the best.  And worst.  But it has all been worth it in the end.  The trips to see his friends in California, the late night drives to a fast food place, singing along with the radio, baking together, screaming at each other over nothing.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  Living with Sean was an eye opener, but it was all worth it.  

 

I tried my hardest to pay attention to the vows, but I was stuck in Sean’s ocean blue eyes.  I couldn’t be happier and I could tell he was feeling the same.  But we got through it with a few stuttering and giggling.  Then we were done.  And I was Callie McLoughlin.        


End file.
